Arrested Development - Ex-Pats Mexico

Dear Ma and Pa,

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Army beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.

Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

We go on 'route marches,' which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A 'route march' is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake . I only beat him once.. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6' and 130 pounds and he's 6'8' and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,

Alice

I loved it...thanks. Guess it's all a matter of what you're used to.

And more a question of how far you live from the equator. Eh

The closer you live to the Equator, the weaker and smaller you get. fact Eh!

Arbon did you read the letter to Ma and Pa, because if you did I don't know what the equator has to do with it. Maybe thinking about what you are writing for the sado/maso site has you confused.

Ma and Pa and offspring live closer to the equator, and they have called someone that shaves Alice.

Arbon, you were expecting proper English in this letter? "(THE) men got to shave?..."
And, for some reason, you think that women don't shave?...legs, armpits? Well, maybe Alice doesn't.
Anyway, stop picking apart what was intended as a good giggle.

I had a cousin/friend that was better than that, please watch video.

I get more of a giggle from chapala.com especially when they are being serious, "Generic Drugs" Eh.

Arbon the letter was cute. It only showed some else's perspective who is used to a harder life than boot camp. It wasn't meant to be a belly laugh. Sorry I disappointed you. You're starting to get grouchier than Pedro.

Pam, I didn't realize that you had written it, I had thought it was from the Southern recruitment centre in Alabama, because it sounded just like the shit that "Bubba" would write. (after a dream)